You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
