No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
