My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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