Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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