I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
