Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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