i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
