Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
