It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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