I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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