I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
