just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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