so let's talk penis.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
