Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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