Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
