I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
