My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
