i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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