sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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