yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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