I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
