You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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