i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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