My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
