i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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