Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
