Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
