if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
