I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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