Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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