Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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