She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
