Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
