just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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