i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
