no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
