Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
