oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
