That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
