I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
