I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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