We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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