There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
