I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
