Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
