What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
