Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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