So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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