at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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