Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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